


bad words

by connnie



Series: A Domestic AU Series: Johnyong [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Comedy, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Johnny doesn't know how to combine meals, M/M, Taeyong hates supermarket lines, markhyuck are two little shits, slight inspiration in Modern Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:14:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26007829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/connnie/pseuds/connnie
Summary: All children learn new words, but Taeyong and Johnny never thought they would be those people who teach bad words.
Relationships: Lee Taeyong/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Series: A Domestic AU Series: Johnyong [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1887655
Comments: 5
Kudos: 41





	bad words

"Daddy! Haechan makeup my action figures again," shouted the eldest son of the Seo/Lee family. The boy was upset with a scowl and tears streaming down his face from the corners. In his frustration, he threw the Max Steel at the door as Taeyong crossed the threshold to find out why Mark was so hysterical.

His good reflexes made him catch the action figure before it hit him in the stomach. Taeyong's gaze was very confused, but it was enough for him to see the Max Steel in make-up (very funny, since Haechan is only four years old) and realize what was going on. He sighed heavily with a treacherous smile, wanting to bend over his face. The action figure had a very funny makeup.

"What's all this shouting about?" asked the man in an understanding tone, very paternal, as it used to be natural for him. He bent down to Mark's height and took him in his arms, while the boy broke into tears.

"Haechan played my toys again. I, I told him to stay out of my room, but he never listens to me. Can we take him back to the factory, daddy?" asked Mark with tears on his thin cheeks, red eyes and broken voice.

"Ah," Taeyong sighed. "What did we say about mentioning the factory? You know Haechan is sad when you say that, Mark" pointed at Taeyong gently, as he stroked Mark's hair, up and down, until he reached the boy's cheek and gently caressed it. He cradled him a little to calm him down, and it worked. Soon Mark's tears stopped and turned to sporadic sobbing.

"But he doesn't know how to behave. He's not like me. I'm tidy, I do my homework and I don't get angry when you want to switch the TV to the news, instead of watching Haechan's silly drama."

"Vocabulary, Mark", the man scolded quietly, still stroking his son's cheek. "Well, when Dad and Haechan come back, we'll talk to them, okay? Now give me your barbies, I'll clean them up."

"Daddy! It's not a barbie, it's Max Steel," Mark replied, cheeks swollen and suddenly leaving sadness aside to show his most offended side. He didn't like his parents always getting confused; because barbies were for dumb kids like Haechan and action figures were for cool kids like him. 

"kay,kay," Taeyong said wearily, but with a smile anyway. 

Taeyong left Mark on the floor, kissing his forehead, and grabbed the three action figures that had fallen victim to Haechan and the new lipstick he had stolen from his aunt Seulgi. He went to the bathroom and started carefully rubbing the toys' faces, while a curious Mark tried to tiptoe over to watch his daddy fix Haechan's mess. 

Taeyong and Johnny have a family that may go unnoticed among the normal population: a married couple with children, a beautiful and giant house, a fat cat called "Pspsps" (Johnny seriously insisted on naming the cat because he saw it on the Internet and found it very funny. To this day, every time Taeyong looks for the cat in the street, dozens of kittens appear. It's very funny, and Johnny can't help but laugh when Taeyong tells him that, once again, more than ten cats followed him home), two Golden Retriever dogs, named Juanito and Kitty (also names sponsored by Johnny, especially Kitty, since besides creating an identity problem for the dog, it's also the combination of Kit, which means cat, and TY, which was Taeyong's nickname in college) and already; You could see Taeyong doing the month's shopping with two euphoric kids arguing about whose turn it is to pick up the cereal; you could see Johnny drinking coffee in his pajamas while mowing the lawn at seven in the morning and with the gossipy neighbor next door telling her husband that "the six-foot-tall neighbor has done it again" for the third time this week and none of that would be news, but as normal as the Seo/Lee family was, the truth was just the opposite. 

"Bastard!" shouted Mark, hurling himself as soon as he saw Haechan enter with an ice cream in his mouth and holding Johnny's hand. 

The two elders were surprised by the swearword Mark had said, ignoring for a moment that two of their children, because yes, there are more, were fighting on the floor, one on top of the other. 

"For God's sake, who taught him that word, Johnny?" Taeyong said in total surprise. 

"Could it have been when you cursed your hairdresser for giving you a bad haircut?" Johnny raised both eyebrows, sounding very serious and concerned.

Taeyong shake his hand and his head, "He deserved it in the first place. I mean, I told him, _I want you to just cut the ends_ , and almost shave me!" Taeyong shouted again.

"You bastard!" Haechan said that this time, as he wrestled Mark to the ground, spinning and pulling each other's hair. 

Johnny looked at Taeyong, as if he were reproaching him, which he was in fact doing. 

Taeyong narrowed his eyes and released air through his nose.

"It's okay, it's okay. You're right," Taeyong snorted, and went directly to Haechan to grab him under his arms and separate him from Mark. Meanwhile, Johnny was doing the same thing.

Now, with Haechan and Mark in his parents' arms, they both still wanted to kill each other. Neither one of them was calm. 

"Well, what's your plan?" Johnny asked, as he tried to dodge some of Haechan's kicks to Mark. 

Taeyong stopped for a moment, thinking, and also trying to protect himself from Mark's kicks. 

"It's Max Steel, Dad!" Mark corrected himself, giving himself enough time to do so as he continued to fight Haechan. 

Taeyong rolled his eyes and started again: "Anyway, take Mark to find new toys and I'll stay with Haechan. When they arrive, dinner will be ready and the B-word will be forgotten, okay?" 

"But, baby, I just went out for ice cream. It's so hot outside. I think if I go out again, I'll melt" began to regret Johnny. 

"Right, right, I forgot I not only have two babies, I have three. Okay, you stay home and make dinner, I'll go get that doll," finished Taeyong. "I know, take Mark to buy another barb-

"It's a Max Steel!" shouted Mark and Taeyong bored of his shit, took Mark from Johnny's arms and carried him on his shoulder, like a vile sack of potatoes. Both Haechan and Johnny opened their mouths in surprise and let Taeyong do the work. 

  
"By the way, Dad" called out to Haechan, pulling on his dad's pants. Johnny looked at little Haechan and made eye contact. "We learned that word when Dad took us to the mall. Dad hates lines," and with that, the youngest one in the family left the room to continue making Mark's dolls. 

Johnny looked towards the door and sighed heavily, while holding a hand to his face.If that was true, Mark would surely come home with a new dictionary of swearwords. 

"This has got to be a fucking joke," Taeyong muttered, at the last place in line, a line of twenty people "Mark come here! And no, I definitely won't buy you that toy car, so leave it where you got it." 

Mark kicked the ground and with a snort he turned around to go back the way he came, leaving Taeyong in line to wait his turn. 

"This is impossible. How can the line be so long," Taeyong wondered, taking a hand in his hair and combing it back with pure nervousness, remembering also the terrible cut. That made him even angrier, but he calmed down, the yoga classes were working somehow. Then he dared to draw the attention of the lovely old woman in front of him, waiting like everyone else for his turn to be attended to. "Hey, excuse me, ma'am," the woman turned around: it was a cute little granny, "How long have you been waiting in line? It's just that my husband is preparing dinner and we don't want to be so late..."

He was not at all suspicious of Johnny in the kitchen, there were even times when Johnny pleasantly surprised him with American-Korean recipes and some other inventions. The point was that Johnny was alone with Haechan in the house, and those two together, in a small space, could cause a disaster that they would explain in a funny way as an experiment. He wished he could get home and know that the bathroom was not a bubble party, or that putting all the mattresses in the house together would give them a springboard powerful enough to touch the sky. 

Taeyong became more anxious and nervous just by remembering that. 

"Ah, I've only been in line for five minutes, young man. You're moving fast, so don't worry," the old woman calmed down, smiling sweetly at Taeyong. For a few seconds Taeyong wished he could catch it, but Mark had arrived with another toy box beside him, this time it was a cart track. 

Damn it, Mark. If I said no to cars, why the hell did you bring the car track? Taeyong cursed inside, holding back only because the old woman looked at his son lovingly.   
"Mark, honey, baby, I told you we were only going to buy your barbies...

"Max Steel, Daddy!" he corrected once more, earning the old lady's laughter. Taeyong took a break and kept trying to stay calm. 

"It's OK, Max Steel" sighed "We're just going to buy Max Steel, that's all, honey, so put the toy back" 

  
"But Haechan could make them up again. I don't want my stupid little brother to ruin my Max Steel again," mumbled Mark, squeezing the clue box harder between his little arms. 

Taeyong was going to speak, but the old lady stepped forward. 

"Oh, why do you call your little brother that?" she asked tenderly. "I had many little brothers, and they all wanted to get my attention one way or another. Some stole my clothes, others stole my diary. There was even one who always made fun of me, but in the end I realized that they all did it because they wanted their big sister to pay attention to them. They see us as heroes, that's why they are so insistent and annoying," the old woman finished, and then she turned around and took not one step, but five more in line. 

Mark was silent for a moment, and Taeyong could see that the younger man was processing the words the woman had given him. Inevitably a smile spread across Taeyong's lips and he bent down to embrace his son, for surely now Mark felt bad about treating Haechan in such a way. 

For the first time, Taeyong did not hate so much that he had stood in line at the mall. 

"And then that old woman, I don't know, called me crazy, but that old woman had superpowers, anyway, she gave such a nice speech about big and little brothers that she made Mark come to his senses and understand that it was wrong to have a fight with Haechan," Taeyong said, as he picked up the dishes from the table. Johnny listened attentively with a smile on his lips.

His children had already finished eating and were playing in the room, laughing and having fun. Meanwhile, the parents were doing their thing.

"That sounds great. It took a little encouragement from Haechan, but it turned out that letting him participate in the cooking did the trick. Now he wants to be as good a cook as his father," said Johnny proudly, as he soaked the dishes in the dishwasher. 

Taeyong opened his eyes and put a piece of leftover salad in his mouth to keep from talking, looking away. 

"Wait, do you have something to say about my food?" Johnny asked, stopping the washing up. 

Taeyong raised his hands to try to explain, but one of his babies screamed. The surprise meant that neither could tell if it was a cry of excitement or terror.Seconds later, however, they discovered that it was Mark who was excited because Haechan had made him up just like his Max Steel. 

  
The scene was moving because at the end of the day they seemed to understand each other, love each other and have fun like the brothers they were supposed to be.Both Johnny and Taeyong had a tight heart and watched the children silently from the door. Haechan was about to finish the last details of that impromptu, childish makeup, and Mark seemed to be enjoying it. 

  
But Haechan opened his mouth. 

"You look like a beautiful whore," Haechan said innocently and with a wide smile.

Taeyong and Johnny were surprised for a second, until Johnny spoke.

"Okay, I think we should stop playing the whore for a moment," he said uncomfortably, looking away, very nervous. 

"We're horrible parents," Taeyong lamented, holding his hands to his face and shaking his head. 

  
"We are, we are," Johnny agreed.

And the two of them went their separate ways, closing the door quietly and letting their two children have their fun, not without thinking about when they would have that talk about blocked words until at least twenty years old. 


End file.
